


Untitled - Disintegration, The Cure (1989)

by Shadows_Den



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Elliot's CD have a meaning damnit, F/M, Post 1x06, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 01:06:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17172938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadows_Den/pseuds/Shadows_Den
Summary: A eulogy for Shayla Nico





	Untitled - Disintegration, The Cure (1989)

**Author's Note:**

> Um, my friend wants me to write with her a semi-long fic in this universe, which she hooked me up to . - Thanks a lot Franky. As if I don't have enough fandoms going around in my head - Anyway. I was practising my Elliot voice, to get a feel for the character and this came out.   
> For those who are wondering: No, I am not over it.
> 
> This officially made people cry, which is the best compliment someone can give me for this.

It doesn't hurt. That's the worst part. A number of files, official ones: birth certificate, her record (sealed as a favour she didn't ask), emails, credit information, and a single ID photo.

Encrypted and incapsulated under a twelve-part file that nobody would ever be able to read without already knowing what it was.

 

`root@elliot:~\Desktop$ crypt Shayla_Nico -s 12`  
`Insert Encryption Key:`  
`Are you sure you want to proceed? [Y/n]`  
`root@elliot:~\Desktop$`  
`100% complete.`  
`Encryption complete.`  
`root@elliot:~\Desktop$ clear`

 

`root@elliot:~\Desktop$_`

 

The Cure - Disintegration. The title writes almost by itself on the smooth white surface of the CD.

 _Plainsong_ \- Five minutes and twelve seconds. First impression, or before, I don't know.

 _Pictures of You_ \- Seven minutes and twenty-four seconds. There is only one actually, burned on the CD, the rest are burned insde my brain. I promised it. Promises don't mean much to me. They meant to her though. " _I take that shit to heart_ " she said.

 _Closedown_ \- Four minutes and sixteen seconds.

... _Lovesong_ -Three minutes and twenty-eight seconds. A possibility. A dream - Hope? I can't tell. A lie.

 _Last Dance_ \- Four minutes and forty-two seconds, not published in the LP version of the album.

 _Lullaby_ \- Four minutes, eight seconds. I sung one. The other day. Sirens and shouting in the background. An open trunk and a void inside. In the dark. _Once there was a way, to get back home_.

 _Fascination Street_ \- Five minutes sixteen.

 _Prayers for Rain_ \- Six-oh-four

 _The Same Deep Water as You_ \- Nine minutes, eighteen seconds. Kinship? Maybe. A broken reflection, more likely. Loneliness? Always.

 _Disintegration_ \- Eight and eighteen. The crux of the matter. Stone. Solid, clear and easy, turned to dust and sand, slipping through my fingers, out of my control, into nothingness

 _Homesick_ \- Seven-oh-six, this one too was not in the LP

 _Untitled_ \- Six minutes, thirty seconds.

Untitled. Unnamed. Undefined. I don't know what it was. Simple? Good? Sick? A waste of time? I have no idea. It doesn't hurt, though. There is nothiing, where I know I am supposed to feel something. Unallocated memory somewhere insde me as if someone went and scubbed clean that portion of myself.

It will be easy to forget her, I tell myself. But the unnamed space remains there.

It doesn't hurt. But everything does, why does she has to be different?

She didn't matter. Lie. I call myself out as I break in the empty apartment next to mine and retrieve the quilt in bright and colorful patterns she had showed me when we kissed for the first time that meant something.

She was -

" _Next time, don't ask_ "

Untitled.

**Author's Note:**

> Elliot lies to himself. A LOT. "It doesn't hurt" from 1x06 makes no sense, especially since he openly cries for her in the previous episode.  
> Also I cried too. Fuck you Sam Esmal, Shayla did not deserve any of that.


End file.
